Bizarre Vintage New Years Cards

January 1, 2015, 1:39 pm

≫ Next: And Now, One of the Strangest Products Ever

Here is a small collection of vintage greetings to start your year off right.

Well, this is one way to face your demons.

The intoxicated moon has somehow procured a giant cigarette and is rather adept at blowing smoke rings.

There’s probably a story here. Broken glass and an angel making a move…

I completely agree with the look on the bird in short pants.

The source of this card had the perfect caption: “Hallmark, please start making these for a walk of shame card collection, thanks in advance.”

Oddly anthropomorphized bottles making out. One can almost hear the clinking of glass.

Be warned, if you pass out drunk a horse may eat your head while you sleep.

I don’t understand this moon, anatomically.

Ah, a beetle stares into space. Nothing says New Years like that!

Source

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: absurd, anthropomorphic, ephemera, vintage

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And Now, One of the Strangest Products Ever

January 7, 2015, 12:40 pm

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies 1/14

≪ Previous: Bizarre Vintage New Years Cards

If you’re at all familiar with this blog, there are many contenders for “strangest product ever” featured here. But this one really surprised me. I was researching hyperbaric oxygen therapy for serious medical conditions (don’t ask), and for some reason that search contained…drumroll please…

The Decompression Chamber Pillow

I cannot envision any household or office in which this awkward photo of a gargantuan piece of diving equipment with a random stranger operating it belongs on a throw pillow. Maybe I’m just short-sighted.

Here is an “action shot” of the Decompression Chamber Serving Tray:

And THIS is what graces the tray’s surface. Tell me folks, is this what comes to mind when you’re searching for the perfect wine and cheese serving option?

It’s times like this when I kind of love humanity. It brings me joy to know people are out there producing completely nonsensical items like this.

Filed under: absurd, medicine, products Tagged: absurd, medicine, products

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Desktop Goodies 1/14

January 14, 2015, 10:32 am

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies 1/22

≪ Previous: And Now, One of the Strangest Products Ever

How NOT to decorate your lobster. I call this Stairway to Hell.

Gorgeous carving work.

Enchanting…

Intriguing…

If only humans could leave behind the tangible structure of their own transformations to look back on.

I love how one happy consumer claims that a tablet of soap whittled her waist from 62 to 48 inches.

But some old ads EMBRACED a little junk in the trunk (how anyone thought the name “CHUBETTES” was a winner for a clothing line, I do not know).

Tick tock…

Adorable little skelly and her pet!

This is amazing in so many ways. Was this mushroom an official mascot of some sort, or just a damn fine costume?

This looks like something a child would paint in art class.

Everybody dance now!

Best search query of the week: “Why is Nicholas Cage on the cover of a Serbian Biology textbook?”

Filed under: absurd, advertising, anthropomorphic, art, Books, craft, creatures, food, humor, nature, photography, sea, skulls and skeletons, vintage Tagged: absurd, advertising, anthropomorphic, art, Books, craft, creatures, humor, nature, photography, sea, skulls and skeletons, vintage

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Desktop Goodies 1/22

January 22, 2015, 1:46 pm

≫ Next: A Fish With an Accordion

≪ Previous: Desktop Goodies 1/14

Yep, these are real birds…

…not Tribbles with eyes.

I wanted so much to believe this is an actual album, but sadly I don’t see it on Amazon or YouTube.

Now THIS is music! I can almost hear their sweet, fruity harmonizing.

1926 skull clock created by the German Oswald clockmaking workshop. They eyes rotate to tell the time.

For maximum safety, place your child in a crib that appears to be a cross between a glass coffin and what magicians use to saw people in half.

A unique abduction? Eye don’t know.

MONSTER SOUP OF THE THAMES!

Never neglect your bowels.

I wish this were part of a large “Things to Do With a Giant Head” photo collection. There are two fine suggestions here:

The Shadow is a force, indeed.

The challenges we rarely think of…

Filed under: absurd, advertising, antiques, art, comics, creatures, photography, satire, sci-fi, skulls and skeletons, vintage, you can't handle the cute Tagged: absurd, advertising, antiques, art, comics, creatures, humor, music, nature, photography, satire, sci-fi, skulls and skeletons, vintage, vintage print, you can't handle the cute

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A Fish With an Accordion

January 27, 2015, 9:49 am

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies: 2/4

≪ Previous: Desktop Goodies 1/22

Today…a fish with an accordion. And a lotus flower. Very little information surrounds this mysterious vintage gem…but it deserves its own post.

So there you have it.

Filed under: absurd, art, oddities, vintage Tagged: absurd, art, oddities, sea, vintage

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Desktop Goodies: 2/4

February 4, 2015, 2:28 pm

≫ Next: Strange Remains Week: Helium Balloons and Deep Freeze

≪ Previous: A Fish With an Accordion

You’re being welcomed into this post by anthropomorphic hotdog with breasts.

As far as I can tell, this is a real vintage ad. Probably one of the most jaw-dropping examples I’ve seen.

Imagine this is what you’re really standing on.

I prefer my tables without testicles.

Don’t miss the other title by this author on the bottom.

For “elegant women of refinement and taste.”

Just your average note-wielding mouse on a lobster.

I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is this a medical assistance device? Unless it’s equipped with some sort of pulley mechanism to lift bodies in need, I see very little purpose for lying on something LESS comfortable, a few inches above something designed for lying on.

And now, in today’s installment of unappealing instructional material…Meet the man who can tell you how to lick pimples.

Haunted…

In conclusion, cats are the cure for everything.

Filed under: 80's, absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, Books, humor, medicine, oddities, robots, sea, skulls and skeletons, taxidermy, vintage Tagged: 80's, absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, Books, humor, medicine, oddities, robots, sea, skulls and skeletons, taxidermy

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Strange Remains Week: Helium Balloons and Deep Freeze

March 19, 2015, 8:34 am

≫ Next: Strange Remains Week: 3D Heads and Textiles

≪ Previous: Desktop Goodies: 2/4

The Eternal Ascent Society offers the release of your beloved’s cremains in a giant helium balloon. While this may appeal to the perpetually young at heart, I keep thinking of the moment the balloon inevitably bursts and casts a blizzard of death over the land. I have mild OCD, so I personally find being showered with dead people unpleasant.

As stated on the bottom of the picture, they’re opening franchises. So if you were thinking of of buying into a Subway or Yogurtland but feel these options don’t involve enough corpses, you might not want to miss the investment opportunity.

Remember the urban legend of Walt Disney getting crynogenically frozen (bonus myth: that his body was stored under Pirates of the Caribbean)? Well, he was cremated in 1966, but YOU can be frozen by Cryonics.

Cryonics is an experimental procedure that preserves a human being using the best available technology for the purpose of saving his/her life. We believe medical technology will advance further in coming decades than it has in the past several centuries, enabling it to heal damage at the cellular and molecular levels and to restore full physical and mental health.

This process poses some profound existential questions, so it’s actually worth looking through the site and forming your own opinion on the matter (you know, for when the topic inevitably comes up at parties…or is that only my circle of friends?).

My favorite part:

Cryonics isn’t a dude in a fancy a beer cooler.

Filed under: absurd, death, humor Tagged: absurd, death, humor

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Strange Remains Week: 3D Heads and Textiles

March 21, 2015, 9:36 am

≫ Next: Strange Remains Week: Fireworks, Bullets, Hourglasses andTattoos

≪ Previous: Strange Remains Week: Helium Balloons and Deep Freeze

This was one of the creepier offerings I came across: a 3D printed model of the deceased from Cremation Solutions to serve as an urn.

Here’s a model of Obama, to show the “perfect likeness” (which to me, registers way more as uncanny valley):

Life size models are also available.

According to the site:
One benefit to these personalized urns is that there will never be a doubt about what they are. With a regular urn, you are undoubtedly asked questions about what it’s for, and that leads to a conversation about the deceased. People who are unfamiliar with the urn might mistake it for a vase or some other container and try to open it. With these urns, you can avoid those questions.

You may not, however, be able to avoid the question “WHY?”

A less jarring option is is the eco friendly textile coffin from Natural Legacy.

This is an innovative coffin and something completely new for the alternative coffin market, but the use of wool in burials is nothing new. The Burial in Wool Act of 1667 made it a legal requirement for the dead to be buried in woollen shrouds in an attempt to boost the struggling woollen industry of the time. With the current social eco agenda, rising concerns on the environmental impact of burials and this innovative product, the industry has come full circle.

Filed under: absurd, death, humor, nature Tagged: absurd, death, humor, nature

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Strange Remains Week: Fireworks, Bullets, Hourglasses andTattoos

March 22, 2015, 10:13 am

≫ Next: The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

≪ Previous: Strange Remains Week: 3D Heads and Textiles

We’ve come to the final post of Strange Remains Week (I thought it was interesting, but my readership dropped by HALF for these posts only, so I gather others were not as entertained. Sorry!).

So let’s go out with a bang. Literally. Heavens Above Fireworks will shoot cremains into the air. This is great for anyone who is asked “What makes an ideal funeral” and replies “pyrotechnics.”

We offer a variety of professional fired displays. These are planned to meet specific client requests and can be supported by other activities. We also offer other services including rockets for self firing incorporating funeral ashes and these can be supported by other fireworks to create your own mini display and we can provide the service for pets ashes too.

And speaking of bangs…did you know a human body can be turned into a bullet at Holy Smoke?

The process of having cremated ash placed in live ammunition begins when you contact us. Once the caliber, gauge and other ammunition parameters have been selected, we will ask you (by way of your funeral service provider) to send approximately one pound of the decedents ash to us. Upon receiving the ashes our professional and reverent staff will place a measured portion of ash into each shotshell or cartridge.

The bottom of their website features this image, for no discernible reason.

I’ve always had a thing for hourglasses (one day I’d like to have a nice one in my library). They make a rather poignant cremation statement, don’t they? In The Light Urns can do it.

The Rings of Time Hourglass Keepsake Urn makes a statement due to it’s beautiful workmanship and size. It is a wonderful way to reflect on the sands of time and the time that you and your loved one shared.

Hourglass urns for ashes are made differently than a regular hourglass timer. The Rings of Time Hourglass Keepsake Urn is a keepsake and holds a small portion of cremains. They cannot be an exactly timed, due to the consistency of the cremains. However, they are a memorial like no other. The hourglass is the ultimate symbol of the passage of time, and will become an family heirloom, passed down for generations.

Memorial tattoos are nothing new, but using ashes in tattoo ink has gained a bit of ground (it’s only a “microscopic amount” so it’s more of a symbolic gesture).

One tattoo artist made a video about the process:

As Mel Blanc said…that’s all folks.

Filed under: absurd, body decoration, death, humor, video Tagged: absurd, body decoration, death, humor, video

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The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

March 30, 2015, 10:29 am

≫ Next: Happy Easter

≪ Previous: Strange Remains Week: Fireworks, Bullets, Hourglasses andTattoos

I’m going to begin this post with a statement some might consider utterly blasphemous: I hate chicken wings. Never touch ’em.

The Great Chicken Wing Hunt proves that a well made documentary can keep one thoroughly interested and entertained by subjects one has absolutely no natural inclination to enjoy. I, lifelong chicken wing hater, genuinely loved this film and I highly recommend it.

I cannot imagine a single human being (wing lover or otherwise) reading the following synopsis and NOT rushing to see it:

American expatriate, international journalist and upstate New Yorker Matt Reynolds forsakes a successful life in Eastern Europe, compelled by a singular obsession: find the world’s best Buffalo chicken wing. Joined by his long-suffering Czech girlfriend, a perplexed Slovak film crew, and a ragtag gang of wing-obsessed misfits recruited online, Reynolds embarks on THE GREAT CHICKEN WING HUNT. After 2,627 miles and 284 varieties of wings, the quest ends in the very countryside of Reynolds’ childhood, where he discovers that the perfection he has sought so hard to find was right under his nose all along.

Watch the trailer:

Hulu links will not embed on WordPress, but you can watch the full movie for free HERE!

The film has, for good reason, snatched up a number of indie film awards. It’s remarkably clever, surprisingly touching at times, and for the wing enthusiasts out there…rather informative. Let me know what you think!

The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

BONUS SHORT FILM by creator Matt Reynolds: Lebowski, My Czech Wife and Me; a heartening look at a husband and wife’s divergent opinions on one of the best comedic feats of recent film history (I guess that qualifier reveals my own stance on the issue).

Filed under: absurd, film, food, humor Tagged: absurd, film, food, humor

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Happy Easter

April 5, 2015, 1:01 pm

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies 4/27

≪ Previous: The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

Wishing a very Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!

Filed under: absurd, art, easter, ephemera, photography, vintage Tagged: absurd, art, easter, ephemera, photography, vintage

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Desktop Goodies 4/27

April 27, 2015, 7:44 am

≫ Next: Vintage Overexcited Mothers

≪ Previous: Happy Easter

WHY don’t more buses look like this? It’s such a missed opportunity NOT to paint giant teeth on all of them.

I’m sure this valid excuse resulted in instant exoneration:

Yeah, but the Wild Germ has anger issues…

One must look at the tagline and consider whether it is really the kind of attention ones wants.

What has she seen?

…Perhaps Karloff’s carload of arsenic?

If I ever get to space, I’m traveling via giant, helmet-clad intergalactic puppy.

A very touching piece of street art.

AS fellow fans of The IT Crowd know, two is the best number of eyes.

Yep.

The sweet, pink title image is excellent with a cat that looks exceedingly unamused.

Filed under: absurd, advertising, art, Books, clothing, creatures, horror, humor, monsters, retro, sci-fi, street art, vintage Tagged: absurd, advertising, art, Books, clothing, creatures, horror, humor, monsters, retro, sci-fi, street art, vintage print

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Vintage Overexcited Mothers

May 10, 2015, 1:51 pm

≫ Next: Casey Weldon: Caterpillars

≪ Previous: Desktop Goodies 4/27

This post began as a search for vintage Mother’s Day images, but what I found was a series of domestic ladies who are altogether TOO expressive. Look at all the exciting things women can do!

Have you ever seen anyone so excited about pots and pans?

Grocery shopping!

Drinking tea!

Driving!

Smoking!

Doing the dishes!

Wondering where the bacon went!

And my personal favorite: the utterly unparallelled rhapsody of cleaning!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Filed under: absurd, art, humor, vintage Tagged: absurd, art, humor, vintage

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Casey Weldon: Caterpillars

June 2, 2015, 11:12 am

≫ Next: Michael Hacker: Brainwashing Machine

≪ Previous: Vintage Overexcited Mothers

Archie McPhee recently featured a few CATerpillars, by Casey Weldon.

So many legs to cuddle with! They look like they want hugs.

Casey Weldon

Filed under: absurd, art Tagged: absurd, art

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Michael Hacker: Brainwashing Machine

June 28, 2015, 1:03 pm

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies 7/10

≪ Previous: Casey Weldon: Caterpillars

If only illustrator, comic and poster artist Michael Hacker would paint my washing machine! What a perfect vision this would be upon opening the laundry closet doors.

I rather wish I could just pour some detergent into my brain and give it a good cleansing when there’s too much grime built up. Wouldn’t that be great?

His two dimensional art is full of fun, lowbrow goodness, too.

Michael Hacker
Source

Filed under: absurd, anatomy, art, craft, home Tagged: absurd, anatomy, art, craft, home

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Desktop Goodies 7/10

July 10, 2015, 7:06 am

≫ Next: Image Odyssey: The Dish Ran Away With the Spoon

≪ Previous: Michael Hacker: Brainwashing Machine

Apologies for skipping a couple days this week, but between huge health setbacks and mold remediation in the SWS house, things are a bit hectic.

What happened on this beach to necessitate a sign like this (well, I guess that’s self-explanatory).

What question did someone ask him to warrant this answer? Ideas?

I’m assuming this is a gag product (the source where I found it said it’s unironic, which was perhaps more entertaining than the ad itself).

Facing the shadow…

I had to look up where this fellow came from. Now I must see Ultraman Tarou. Has anyone seen it?

Well, that’s supportive.

Careful, parents, it could happen to you.

Answer: don’t.

Now THIS cat is a work of art.

“Hey, you’ll never believe where I’m calling from.”

Filed under: absurd, advertising, art, Books, cats, horror, humor, japan, kitsch, monsters, oddities, photography, satire, undead, vintage Tagged: absurd, advertising, art, Books, cats, horror, humor, japan, kitsch, monsters, oddities, photography, satire, undead, vintage

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Image Odyssey: The Dish Ran Away With the Spoon

August 2, 2015, 3:22 pm

≫ Next: Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser

≪ Previous: Desktop Goodies 7/10

My kindred spirit Cat referred to Spoon Theory today in a kind comment about my health. I immediately wanted to symbolically give her a special spoon, and the best way I could think to do so was with an image search for the most bizarre renditions of the final Hey Diddle Diddle lines.

Even as a child, I thought this Mother Goose nursery rhyme was truly ridiculous. I guess all nursery rhymes are. But if you need a refresher for this one:

Turns out anthropomorphized plates and flatware inspire a wide spectrum of artistic interpretation, both vintage and modern. Take a look!

Filed under: absurd, art, craft, sculpture, vintage Tagged: absurd, anthropomorphic, art, craft, sculpture, vintage

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Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser

August 17, 2015, 10:39 am

≫ Next: The Best Worst Shirt Ever

≪ Previous: Image Odyssey: The Dish Ran Away With the Spoon

Apparently, today is Black Cat Appreciation Day (who knew?). Far be it from me to miss ANY opportunity to show some love for black cats (I’ve been cuddling with my beloved Dr. Morbius all morning).

I present the latest addition to Dr. Morbius and Ms. Nimbus’s ever expanding toy collection. I think you’ll agree it’s pretty much the greatest cat toy ever made: The Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser!

Yep, it’s a Freddy Krueger glove…with MICE. I was hoping to get some quality action shots, but alas, cats are not always the best photo subjects on cue. However, I don’t see how anyone could resist buying a Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser at first glance!

Tell me your favorite black cat (or any cat) story.

Filed under: absurd, cats, humor, products Tagged: absurd, cats, humor, products

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The Best Worst Shirt Ever

August 30, 2015, 7:36 am

≫ Next: Mark Bryan

≪ Previous: Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser

A loved one introduced me to a term he and a friend coined many years ago: The Wrap Around. Essentially, when something is so incredibly, mind-blowingly bad that it becomes utterly fantastic…it “wraps around” (yes, we’ve all heard “so bad it’s good” but I feel The Wrap Around is a tidier, more effective term for the phenomenon).

The BEST example I’ve seen in ages of something that clearly wraps around is the The Mountain Fall Kitty Tee.

Soak in every detail (right down to the color coordinated scarf). I’ll wait.

………..

…………….

Note: Fall Kitty is 100% irony free and contains 0% self awareness.

It’s perfection in every single way except for the fact that it doesn’t come in my size. I believe it starts in a men’s medium.

I’d venture to say I’d never be caught dead with a man who would NOT wear this shirt.

The Mountain Fall Kitty Tee

Filed under: absurd, cats, humor Tagged: absurd, cats, humor

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Mark Bryan

September 8, 2015, 5:52 am

≫ Next: Desktop Goodies 9/9

≪ Previous: The Best Worst Shirt Ever

Mark Bryan describes painting as a process rather like dreaming while awake: a direct link to the subconscious.

Some stirring, tumultuous, apocalyptic images certainly arise…

He very rarely plans his paintings out beforehand (except for the political work) and prefers to see where each one takes him as it goes.

His portfolio also contains numerous war related images. He states:

Although turning inward is my first instinct and love, I can’t always stay inside my head and ignore what’s going on in the world. When the circus turns especially ugly or when a good idea appears, I feel the need and responsibility to make some kind of comment. Humor and satire have been my way to confront serious topics which are often too grim to portray directly.

There is always some satisfaction for me in pointing out the absurdities of human behavior and making fun of the villains of the day. I don’t know if this kind of work has any effect on the situation, but at least it has a therapeutic value for me and others of like mind.

Mark Bryan

Filed under: absurd, art, satire, surreal Tagged: absurd, art, satire, surreal

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